What is Sex Therapy?
I describe sex therapy as a personal journey where we explore your behaviors and thoughts as it relates to your sexuality. Sexuality encompasses how you feel and what you think about sex. Specific topics I enjoy treating are interracial relationships, desire discrepancy, incompatibility, and sexual-emotional trauma.
Sex therapy is a form of counseling that helps individuals and couples address sexual issues and improve their sexual relationship.
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that focuses on emotional and psychological factors, and does NOT involve any kind of sexual contact between the therapist and the client.
Sex therapy with me does not involve physical therapy techniques or other treatments related to your physical health. There are many ways to treat sexual issues and if you are interested in these types of services, I recommend you find a physical therapy or medical doctor that specializes in sexual health.
Sex therapy is a safe and confidential space for individuals to explore their sexual concerns and work towards a healthier and more fulfilling sex life.
Sex Therapy Is Not
Sex therapy is not sexological body work.
Sex therapy is not sex work. Sex therapists do not touch their clients, or provide any form of erotic pleasure (verbal and physical).
Sexological body workers help clients directly through instruction and touch. They also do not provide erotic massages and erotic entertainment. The purpose of sexological body work is to reconnect with yourself through the help of a professional. It can be especially helpful for individuals experiencing painful sex, sexual trauma survivors, early ejaculation, and those who need support learning pleasure points in their body. You can learn more about sexological body work here: https://sexologicalbodyworkers.org/whatis
If you have any additional questions about the difference between sex therapy and sexological body work, please send me a message.
Examples of Homework / Interventions Used
For Individuals
Family History, Family Dynamics, and Sibling Relationships
Sexual History Timeline / Relationship History Timeline
Journaling Prompts
Communication Skills
Social Circle Exercise
Cognitive Behavioral & Processing Therapy Worksheets
For Couples
Gottman’s Speaker Listener Technique (Communication Technique)
Role-playing in Session
Conflict Resolution Tactics
Yes / No / Maybe Lists
Discussing kinks, fantasies, and preferences
And Much More…
Benefits of Sex and Couples Therapy
Sex therapy is for both individuals ad couples. I see people who are single and partnered.
Common topics/issues that come up in sex therapy include:
Defining what sex means to you
Understanding your relationship to sex and your partner’s relationship to sex
Masturbation and porn consumption habits
Sexual and relationship history
Communication barriers as it relates to sex and intimacy
Anxiety and hangups around sex
Sex therapy can help by:
Resolving and processing sexual trauma
Helping you better understand and communicate feelings with your partner
Reduce shame, anxiety, and guilt around sex and porn use
Improving your relationship to your sexual self
Understanding how past trauma may be playing a role in beliefs about yourself
Bridging communication in interpersonal relationships
Reframing hangups and anxieties around sex
Improve self-esteem and beliefs about self
Finding compatible partners and how to attract potential partners
Being your most authentic self and showing up as the best partner that you can be
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Not necessarily. I am a mental health therapist with a specialty in sex and relationships. I treat general issues as well including anxiety, depression, life transitions, and family issues. You can start therapy for the first time with me and we’ll cater our sessions to what you need. Sometimes, there is more work to be done prior to starting sex therapy. This depends on a case by case basis and I can give you my clinical recommendations as we work together.
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Absolutely, sex therapy is for both individuals and couples. You can learn a lot about your own sexuality, preferences, and past trauma through individual therapy.
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This will depend on your case. Sometimes I would recommend couples therapy first and then determine in individual therapy for each partner is necessary. Other times, I will recommend couples to pause relationship therapy and do individual therapy first, before returning to couples therapy. If you are uncertain, you can start with couples therapy and see what your therapist recommends. This may take 1-2 months before coming to an answer.
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Couples therapy can be beneficial for any couple at any stage. I see couples who are on the verge of breaking up and couples who would just like to learn communication tools. If you are finding yourselves having the same type of conflict to no resolve, therapy can help get out of that loop and redirect the conversation to a more productive one.
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Yes, I’ve seen couples who have not had sex with each other yet, despite being together for many years. As long as both parties are willing to introspect, do the work, and be kind to one another, I believe we can look for solutions and figure out what works. This is not a guarantee, but I think it’s worth trying. We may also need to redefine what sex means to each of you and understand the root reasons.
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No, in fact majority of my therapy sessions are conducted virtually. I’ve seen great progress made in both in-person and virtual sessions. As long as you have a good rapport, stable internet connection, and time to reflect outside of therapy, you are good to go!